Come On Baby, Lab My Fire

Before I start talking about my next lady friend, here’s a random photo of me chilling out, unable to decide whether I want to be on the sofa or the floor. Just because I’m the admin and I CAN!

Anyway, last week I hooked up with this smoking hot white yellow bitch called Baby and she was a big girl if you know what I mean, which I really liked. She was just like a bigger version of me actually – really white with big head, super cute black eyes and nose, slightly darker ears and generally very similar features to mine. I really fancied her – Does that make me a narcissist?

The only problem is that she was giving me some mixed signals.. First time we met up she was up for it straight away and then next date she started playing hard to get. I’m no female psychology expert, but isn’t it usually the opposite?

First date was soo great, we hit it off very quickly, we were both into eating grass and sniffing ears amongst other parts. The date went so well in fact that i got lucky after less than 10 minutes! That’s got to be my deflowering record time!

Needless to say I couldn’t wait for our second date thinking that at the very least i got myself a friend with benefits… But… she came and she just wanted to talk and nothing more… And when I finally got her to do some stuff with me, she lied down a lot making me do all the work and acting like she just wanted to close her eyes and thing of England or something. Then again, that didn’t stop me – nothing ever does. I grabbed her back so hard that her parents had to drag both of us together on her lead when they were trying to take her home. I didn’t appreciate being interrupted when I’m in my game zone and I wasn’t about to let them shorten my fun.

So, hopefully, the world needs to brace itself for a litter of super-hyper-cute big white Labrador puppies with a built in gene for perfection, good looks and outstanding intelligence; possibly future aspiring writers with the tendencies for romance and adventure.



Lovely Ladies

Hello everyone in this new happy year! I know, I know – I’m way late with the new year talk, but I was extremely busy hooking up with various ladies so I’m sure you understand how that had to take priority.

I hope you missed your favourite furry blogger

So the website has been transferred to another hosting provider again (special thanks to my granddad who made that happen), which means that Blogrador is still under the same www address and everything else is the same, but all my Facebook fans will not be able to access OLD posts directly from Facebook. All the posts are still accessible here on the website in case anyone wanna reminisce.

So back to my amazing sex life – I have really been getting around! I met all sorts of lovely bitches. There was Holly, as you probably remember from my November post. That didn’t work out so well – She became pregnant, but I think she wanted to raise it on her own, cause she stopped returning my phone calls and I got a bit depressed there for awhile…

But then came lovely Bonnie who made me wish I was called Clyde. Unfortunately, I think her parents brought her to me few days too late after her furtile days and we didn’t have a lock either. Not to mention she told me off and the whole neighbourhood could hear her bark at me so that put me in a slightly vulnerable place. Of course, I could still perform – I mean come on – we’re still talking about ME! But it wasn’t just the same between us afterwards.

And then jackpot! – there was sweet Binky. She was the woman that REALLY made me a man. Proper puppy love! I’ll always have a special place for her in my fluffy little heart. Here’s a picture taken by Binky’s mom – cover your eyes, kids, it’s slightly pornographic.

We’re all pretty much sure Binky’s now carrying my child (or I should rather say children) and it got to me – do I need to pay child support now? !!

OMG I cannot afford to be a dad.. I’m only young! My life’s just beginning. What am I going to do?

Oh wait…. no its OK. Mum just told me dogs don’t pay child support. Phew!!

Anyway, I’ll try to keep you posted on my newest love conquests. We have another girl coming next week – She’s called Baby.. you know like in Dirty Dancing.. Hhmm I’m positively gonna give her the time of her life !



I’m a Man At Last!

Last week I became a man and I have decided to share my happiness with you all. I would have written straight away, but I was busy reminiscing with my “hot shot” grin on like this:

Good things always come completely unexpected, don’t they?
I guess my mum must have seen how unhappy and lonely I was, because she has arranged something last minute and now…here I am singing Like a Virgin knowing full well that I’M NOT one anymore !!!:D

On that afternoon, mum brushed my coat thoroughly and brushed my teeth too. I never knew why until one hour later when this hairy goddess showed up at my doorstep. She was called Holly.

Like…Holly crap, she’s hot!

My knees literally started to tremble. Suddenly I got unusually shy, but trust me – it didn’t last long. Once I got a sniff of her scent, that was it.. What happened next, you can only guess, cause I’m a gentlabman and I don’t sniff and tell.

It was something the humans called slip mating – which means that even though I did my part relentlessly (and happily!) for over 40 minutes each visit (Oh yeah!) she wouldn’t lock me in so she might or might not be pregnant.

I’ve got mixed feelings about this – my parents seem to want her to get pregnant for some weird reasons (personally I think they need therapy), but I’m not sure if I’m ready for the responsibilities of fatherhood – I just fell in love and lost my virginity for dogs sake!

I wonder what Holly is doing right now….


Shaun The Stud

Long Time No Sniff

I have been quiet for awhile so I thought I should let you all know how I am and what’s new with my life. There have been some good things and some bad things.

So lets start with the good things…

Firstly, I don’t have acne anymore. Took 3 weeks of intense special shampoo therapy applied to my general bottom area and underbelly, but I’m officially spot-free. And thank god if I may say so; Having your dad hold you down while your mom shampooes your genitals is really NOT the best memory a teenager can gain! Especially when you realise how thin the sponge separating your balls from your mother’s hands is.

Secondly, in September I have spent 10 glorious days in my favourite kennels, making new friends and having the time of my life. I got to run in the mud & rain all day long in the lovely temperature of 6 Celsius degrees, while my naïve parents got stuck in Greece sipping cocktails on a sunny beach – haha suckers!

Now to the bad stuff..

Lola is now pregnant with another man’s child – I heard mom say it to dad when they thought I wasn’t listening. But I WAS listening! 🙁 I saw Lola the other day as she was walking across the street still wonderfully thin and gorgeous. She looked at me as if she wanted to apologise, but I know it makes no difference as I cannot be seeing her now:(

Another bad thing is that mom does a lot of stuff on the Internet these days, which is directly responsible for the cut of MY Internet time. Honestly, she should get her own laptop instead of using this one (even though she did pay for this one) I live by this simple rule: once something has either been dropped on the floor or used by me once and I have not been told off for it – it is forever mine and I see it as such.

I should add that I need this blog – I find it therapeutical. It helps me gather my thoughts and I feel like I actually get to talk to someone about my doggy problems, even though sometimes it feels like there is no one on the other side. Sure the website gets comments, but they’re 99 percent spam comments of people who try to sell me a new blender, insure me for life or fix me up with a Russian bride, which is obviously no good to a dog! Doh!

Hope you’ve all been well,


Involuntary Labstinence

Today’s blog entry is rather bitter, just to warn you. If you read my posts from The LOVErador section in the top menu of this page you will know that my history with women has not been great so far. In few days I turn 2 years old and that means I am a proper teenager now and I need to reflect on my life so far. Especially on the fact that I am still a virgin:(

You know how , when you’re a frustrated teenager, it all shows on your complexion and stuff? That’s what’s happening to me right now. I have spots around my private area that apparently are typical for a teenage dog; I believe acne is the term that the vet used. My parents spent almost 30 quid on a special shampoo to deal with it (sort of like a dog Clearasil) I’m pretty sure I saw tears in their eyes when we left the vets!

I’ve had enough. Why am I still a virgin? My mum has been advertising my stud services for almost 6 months and nothing! I’m sure no other mother ever worked so hard to get her son laid. There were few dates arranged but they all cancelled last minute due to the bitch’s end of season or such rubbish I didn’t get.. Am I really that repulsive that no girl wants me?

Guess what – they all say they want a proven father. Catch 22 right? How can you be a proven baby daddy if no one wants to date you and let you put the bun in their oven? I’m told I’ve got great genes and scores and I’m generally perfect and it doesn’t seem to work anyway. It’s like when you’re looking for your first job and all the employers want experience.

I am really getting desperate. Take a look for yourselves:

Here’s me creeping up in the park, looking for some potential victims of my perverse fantasies.


And this is me hitting on a dog of a bigger size and unknown (!!!) gender.


And finally, here is me trying to hump a girl while her friends and her father are watching!

Definitely not my proudest moments, I know. So now you see I really do need a woman asap. What can I do?


Lola Loves Shaun

Do you remember my neighbour Lola, the brown labrador goddess that just wanted to be friends? Well, she’s converted nicely – she loves me now!! I’m so happy!

Excuse the dirty picture of us, but I had to prove it, cause I still don’t believe it myself!

I don’t know how that happened to be honest with you. Must be my raw dog magnetism. On our first two dates she showed literally no interest, even pretended I wasn’t there at times, which was quite hurtful to my feelings and, well, my ego too. And then last time we saw each other she just suddenly started to respond to my flirting attempts and before I knew it, she was all over me cuddling and kissing and even, ehm, giving some attention to my private bits, but don’t tell our parents.

That’s the thing – our parents. They have some sort of crazy notion in their heads, that they cannot breed us together because I am white and she is brown – does that sound politically correct to you? Exactly!

I love all the bitches – the white ones, the yellow, the brown and the black – as long as she’s got good legs and sense of humour, I’m game. Labradors are beautiful in all shapes and sizes. Love sees no colour! And the fact that she is going to have some other dog’s children soon just breaks my heart.


I’ve just googled it – apparently yellow and chocolate theoretically CAN mate, but it’s more complicated and you need to thoroughly check the genealogy in those cases before you breed them and it can be trickier. It’s weird though, because there’s absolutely no rules against black labs mating with white ones and obviously all OK within the same colour (racist!) So I’m guessing noone’s going to bother to care about the unfulfilled and tragic love of one white Romeo and his brown Juliet 🙁

Fine, I’ll have to forget about my sexy little chocolate but life is so unfair.


Beware Of The Dog!

Some dogs bark practically all the time. I’m not a big fan of that kind of behaviour. I find it quite intrusive and attention-seeking to be honest with you. Sometimes though, a good warning bark is important.

Look at me for example. I don’t really bark. I’m usually quiet as a mouse when we are on walkies or in a pub. Everything changes when I’m inside our house and there is someone outside and I can see them through the window. Or hear them. Or sense their intrusive presence. Then I get on super alert mode and I turn into Lord Protector of our household.

First my muscles get tense and I sit straight up focusing my whole attention on the person outside. Then I bark and growl really loudly. Apparently it is quite annoying (or so I’m told). Personally I think it is the right thing to do for a cautious, concerned citizen and it should be appreciated more by the people who are being guarded that way by the concerned citizen.

It doesn’t matter who it is; the postman, a complete stranger or neighbours coming back from work. Even thought I always greet the neighbours politely and play with them on the street, the situation changes completely, when I can spot them from the inside, when they’re lurking on the outside, ready to invade our house at any moment.

I trust no one.

For example this is me watching closely and suspiciously as my dad cleans our front yard.  I love him. He is family. But can anyone REALLY vouch for him or do we know EVERYTHING about him? I’ve only known him for less than 2 years. Is that enough to really know a person?

You can never be too careful when it is your house.  A person may look friendly to you or may even pretend to be your friend and still be after your stuff. For example, what if they break in and steal my Pedigree supplies? Or play with my plastic bone without including me!? People can be monsters sometimes!

Funny thing is that deep down everyone knows I’m soft and would never actually bite anyone. Even I know that. They’re just warning barks, but if someone doesn’t know me, they will think twice before trying something funny! And if someone I know and trust tricks me, well let’s just say:  Fool me once – shame on you. Fool me twice – also shame on you, but at least bring me a treat.


Dave The Hedgehog

I’m really sad today.
We just found out that Dave, the hedgehog that my parents and I tried to rescue over weekend had been put to sleep:(

We found him on the road next to our house on Saturday night, when I was going out for my last wee of the day (accompanied by my dad who always goes with me to make sure no perverts peek when I do my private business)
The hedgehog must had been slightly hit by a car or attacked by another animal; he was lying on the street and making crying noises. I felt so sorry for him. We got mum to come down and she took him to our garden, where she rested him under a cover of a T-shirt and gave him some of my food. (no one really checked if that was OK with me, but I forgive them as it really was a stressful situation) A bottle of warm water was also put close to him to keep him warm.

Dad named him Dave despite the fact we didn’t know its’ gender. That sort of thing would not come as a surprise to you, if you knew my dad – all I’ll say on the subject is that the two best plants in our house are called Suzie and Eric.

The next morning mum rang the local Hedgehog Rescue and they have been amazing – collected Dave really quickly and took him to the vets for an x-ray. Only today did we think to enquire about him as we assumed he was fine, but unfortunately it turned out that he had his front leg broken and it is apparently unrecoverable for hedgehogs in the wild:(

The lady said we still did a good thing – he would have died a slow painful death otherwise and apparently magpies also try to get the wounded or hurt hedgehogs.

So even though we are all sad today, we know we’ve done a good thing and we encourage all of you to always try to help when you see an animal in pain – they cannot speak for themselves and not all of them will have blogs to express their feelings, but they do HAVE feelings and one of them is pain.  If you found an animal in need, first google what are their immediate needs and food/temperature requirements in such a situation and then, when you’ve made it more comfortable, look around if there’s a local rescue or animal charity you can ring for help.

Rest in peace, Dave The Hedgehog,


Shaun The Housedog

The LabRadior

Many of you will know that I’ve been naughty in the past and when my parents finally stopped caging me few weeks ago, they were really terrified that I might go back to my demolition habits.

I haven’t though and I’ll tell you why – they bought me a radio!

It is nice and vintage; it plays me music and talks to me all day long. It doesn’t lose patience with me or ask me to leave it alone. It doesn’t shut the door on me when it eats its’ dinner or shout at me when I’ve scratched some piece of furniture. In other words – it’s much better than my parents.

The reasons they bought me a radio are unknown to me, but I suspect it was to keep me occupied. Either they are devious geniuses or they must know me very well, cause I love it! I don’t even think about destroying stuff anymore – feels childish now when I think about my previous destructive accomplishments. It is so much better to just chill out to the music or listen to some silly conversations about nothing. Surprisingly entertaining!

Although I must say that mum was not impressed the other day when she came home from work and found me jumping up and down to “The Final Countdown”. Not to mention her reaction when she caught me listening to some soppy Lionel Ritchie’s song. She immediately grabbed her phone and texted dad – I’m sure that whatever she wrote was not particularly nice! How is that my fault? It’s not like I can stand on my back paws and change the radio channel with my front ones!

Even more annoying when sometimes I hear comments like “What is that dog listening to now!?” or “I’m afraid that dog has developped some bad music taste!” (I have noticed that every time they have something mean to say about me they refer to me as that dog rather than Shaun.)

The channels I listen to vary depending on who’s set the radio for me last. If it’s mum it usually is some 80s hits, while dad always puts sports on for me. If anyone bothered to ask ME what I wanted, they would find out that I’d prefer some hip-hop doggy music, but guess what – no one asked!


Dog At Work

Hi folks!

I know you haven’t heard from me for awhile and you’ve probably started feeling some withdrawal symptoms already. I do apologise, even though it wasn’t really my fault.

My mum has had loads of technical issues with her computer for a long time and finally it became clear we needed a new labtop. But it couldn’t be just ANY labtop. Oh no – it had to be the perfect computer that combines matte screen, good size memory, fast processor, enough storage room and loads more. Don’t ask me what all that means – I don’t know and I don’t care. The bottom line is – she has been searching for ages and then, when she bought it, she has been setting it up for some more time. Absolute nightmare!

And when everything was finally ready to be used and played with, who do you think got the first dibs on computer time and whose internet needs got completely disregarded in the process? If you’re thinking that The Shaunmeister got screwed again, you are so right! Apparently you don’t come high in the priority queue for pc privileges if you’re a Labrador puppy. At the same time dad was enjoying the full computer access for whatever boring stuff he needed to read about! In case you’ve not realised that yet – there is no justice in this house. Just terror and favouritism!

I don’t even get all that fuss about computers – I love using them, but does it really matter what make and what parameters your pc is? I only use it for fun stuff and I really don’t care how fast it is, but I have noticed that humans often use it for other things than blogging or browsing through the Labrador bitches photos. Like for work and stuff… There are many computers in offices for example.

It must be fun to work in an office. All these people sitting together, able to play and run around as much as they want to, all day long! So many things to throw and bite; and all that lovely crunchy paper!

Hmmm I just heard my parents talking about their day at the office and I’m not sure if it sounds so cool after all. It doesn’t sound like they throw things or play with anyone at all! And they can’t go home whenever they want to either! Sounds more like prison to me!

I COULDN’T WORK in the office and here is wHY:

  1. I would have to sit still and focused for 8 hours – I can only sit still and focused for the amount of time between someone showing me a treat and someone giving me the treat.
  2. I’d have to use human toilet – Which would be stressful not just for me, but also for my co-workers who would have problems adjusting to the unavoidable mess, not to mention the stress of walking in to the toilet to find a peeing dog standing on two paws and holding his bits with his right paw (unless everyone else at that workplace were dogs as well – that would obviously change the power balance of this scenario completely)
  3. I’d have to actually listen to my superiors – I don’t do listening. Or superiors! Just the very notion that someone is considered superior to ME is so ridiculous I cannot even cope!
  4. I wouldn’t have the ability to lie down and fall asleep on the floor whenever I’d feel bored – and that sounds like one of the basic perks I’d look for in a job.
  5. I’d have to wear clothes – I always thought it must be really uncomfortable for humans and there’s also the question of which style and image to choose – rasta dog? fluffy romantic puppy boy? A fashionable hipster with a man bun? A dodgy hound with a ponytail and a goatee? Too many choices and only one dog!

So there – I cannot count on making a career in this fascist environment. I’ll just have to stay at home and divide my time between sleeping, blogging and waiting to be taken out. It’s a tough life, but someone has to do it so other people can enjoy themselves working at the office!