Tomorrow my mum is going away to visit my grandma abroad.

I wouldn’t mind essentially (I’m not a mama’s boy or anything!), but she IS my editor, which means I won’t be able to blog or even update anything for a full week!

I heard her ask dad if he would help me out with my website in her place, but he flatly refused saying he doesn’t believe in all that blog nonsense and dogs should not concern themselves with internet websites and posts.

He also said that he will be too busy drinking beer, watching football and playing xbox this whole time. (In case you are wondering – No, my dad is NOT a teenage boy)

Dad firmly believes that dogs should be seen not heard (or published) and it will do me some good to chew a bone (we’ll see) and maybe learn to fetch for a change (over my dead body! – as you can read HERE I don’t fetch – I do my own thing!)

Dad has always wanted a typical dog and ,between you and me,  I don’t think he likes the idea of a highly intelectual, self educated and well spoken canine using his computer and internet allowance.

As much as I disagree with dad’s assessment of a dog’s role in a modern society, I suppose a little vacation can’t kill me. I could catch up on sleeping and general resting from my highly exhausting life – all that staring in my labtop screen has been getting to me lately, and I’m scared it will make me really NEED the glasses that I’ve only been using for fun until now.

So here’s how I plan to be resting:

I’ll also use that time off to try my head tilting on dad and see if it works just as well as it does with mum. Will let you know how it went in a week.

In the meantime..

Shaun out!

The Tiltmaster Test

Ever noticed how much power a head tilt has? A dog can get away with murder just by looking at humans and tilting their head in a perfectly innocent way like he’s trying to understand what they’re saying or why they’re mad, but he simply cannot.

They say it’s because a dog wants to mimic humans and be more like them, but that’s rubbish, take it from me! We just know how to play humans.

I’ve realised about the tilt’s potential some time ago and I’m gonna start using it shamelessly to fit my personal needs. I already know I am pretty labradorable… Let’s see if I have enough charm to broaden my limits with this new trick. ….

I’m gonna tilt it like I mean it! Let’s see what happens..

heead tilting dog

So far , it’s been few days and I already got 15 awws and 9 kisses after a well performed tilt in carefully and strategically chosen circumstances. Not a big fan of kisses (mum tends to leave lipstick marks on my head!!) and all that girlie huggy nonsense, but I put up with them for the greater purpose – seems to make mum happy and when she’s happy she tends to be more generous. See? You’ve got to think of opportunities in life at all times!

      Awws on the other hand… them I don’t mind at all – they seem to express a big appreciation for my looks and behaviour and who doesn’t like to have their ego stroked?

So I’m going to start a life-long test on each thing that I do that I have a feeling that might be considered naughty.

Is tilting really that powerful? Let’s find out, shall we?

Feel free to post your own tilting experiences in the comments below, whether you’re a human or a dog.

Oh just one thing though – I’ve already found out that a tilt does not help you much when you’ve been sick on a sofa so just a fair warning to all the doggies that will read my post and decide to try that particular approach to test the Tiltmaster power – don’t bother.

….. or when you’ve chewed through a cable..That doesn’t seem to be any better with a tilt either.

….. or when you’ve smeared mum’s foundation all over the kitchen floor.

But still.. Lets keep testing!!



Sex, Labs And Videotape

So I had an unexpected sort of a date yesterday afternoon in my favourite park.

It started so innocent. I was running about in the field, minding my own business and ignoring my dad as usual.

Just as we were about to leave, this gorgeous girl showed up. A yellow labrador bitch, built like a goddess, I mean real fox! She looked ready and willing I swear! She was circling me slowly, pretending to be interested in her little tennis ball, but come on! I know the game and I know what bitches really want, when they pretend to ignore you.

So, being a man of very few words, I have taken action straight away and went for the butt. I’m not sure what exactly happened from then, it was a blur really. Here’s a short story in pictures:

Did I really misread the signals? She couldn’t have possibly not noticed how ridiculously attractive I was, right?

Anyway she ran away as soon as my nose approached her behind:( She even moaned something under her nose, and I could swear it was not the good kind of moan either!

Maybe she was underage? That would explain it, I guess, but still….

And you know what was the worst part of it ? My mum taking photos and filming the whole thing! You really cannot count on any kind of respect or privacy in this family! I am glad that my non existing sex life amuses SOMEONE!

I am really not happy about this!

What did I do wrong??