Before I start talking about my next lady friend, here’s a random photo of me chilling out, unable to decide whether I want to be on the sofa or the floor. Just because I’m the admin and I CAN!
Anyway, last week I hooked up with this smoking hot white yellow bitch called Baby and she was a big girl if you know what I mean, which I really liked. She was just like a bigger version of me actually – really white with big head, super cute black eyes and nose, slightly darker ears and generally very similar features to mine. I really fancied her – Does that make me a narcissist?
The only problem is that she was giving me some mixed signals.. First time we met up she was up for it straight away and then next date she started playing hard to get. I’m no female psychology expert, but isn’t it usually the opposite?
First date was soo great, we hit it off very quickly, we were both into eating grass and sniffing ears amongst other parts. The date went so well in fact that i got lucky after less than 10 minutes! That’s got to be my deflowering record time!
Needless to say I couldn’t wait for our second date thinking that at the very least i got myself a friend with benefits… But… she came and she just wanted to talk and nothing more… And when I finally got her to do some stuff with me, she lied down a lot making me do all the work and acting like she just wanted to close her eyes and thing of England or something. Then again, that didn’t stop me – nothing ever does. I grabbed her back so hard that her parents had to drag both of us together on her lead when they were trying to take her home. I didn’t appreciate being interrupted when I’m in my game zone and I wasn’t about to let them shorten my fun.
So, hopefully, the world needs to brace itself for a litter of super-hyper-cute big white Labrador puppies with a built in gene for perfection, good looks and outstanding intelligence; possibly future aspiring writers with the tendencies for romance and adventure.