Dog At Work

Hi folks!

I know you haven’t heard from me for awhile and you’ve probably started feeling some withdrawal symptoms already. I do apologise, even though it wasn’t really my fault.

My mum has had loads of technical issues with her computer for a long time and finally it became clear we needed a new labtop. But it couldn’t be just ANY labtop. Oh no – it had to be the perfect computer that combines matte screen, good size memory, fast processor, enough storage room and loads more. Don’t ask me what all that means – I don’t know and I don’t care. The bottom line is – she has been searching for ages and then, when she bought it, she has been setting it up for some more time. Absolute nightmare!

And when everything was finally ready to be used and played with, who do you think got the first dibs on computer time and whose internet needs got completely disregarded in the process? If you’re thinking that The Shaunmeister got screwed again, you are so right! Apparently you don’t come high in the priority queue for pc privileges if you’re a Labrador puppy. At the same time dad was enjoying the full computer access for whatever boring stuff he needed to read about! In case you’ve not realised that yet – there is no justice in this house. Just terror and favouritism!

I don’t even get all that fuss about computers – I love using them, but does it really matter what make and what parameters your pc is? I only use it for fun stuff and I really don’t care how fast it is, but I have noticed that humans often use it for other things than blogging or browsing through the Labrador bitches photos. Like for work and stuff… There are many computers in offices for example.

It must be fun to work in an office. All these people sitting together, able to play and run around as much as they want to, all day long! So many things to throw and bite; and all that lovely crunchy paper!


Hmmm I just heard my parents talking about their day at the office and I’m not sure if it sounds so cool after all. It doesn’t sound like they throw things or play with anyone at all! And they can’t go home whenever they want to either! Sounds more like prison to me!

I COULDN’T WORK in the office and here is wHY:

  1. I would have to sit still and focused for 8 hours – I can only sit still and focused for the amount of time between someone showing me a treat and someone giving me the treat.
  2. I’d have to use human toilet – Which would be stressful not just for me, but also for my co-workers who would have problems adjusting to the unavoidable mess, not to mention the stress of walking in to the toilet to find a peeing dog standing on two paws and holding his bits with his right paw (unless everyone else at that workplace were dogs as well – that would obviously change the power balance of this scenario completely)
  3. I’d have to actually listen to my superiors – I don’t do listening. Or superiors! Just the very notion that someone is considered superior to ME is so ridiculous I cannot even cope!
  4. I wouldn’t have the ability to lie down and fall asleep on the floor whenever I’d feel bored – and that sounds like one of the basic perks I’d look for in a job.
  5. I’d have to wear clothes – I always thought it must be really uncomfortable for humans and there’s also the question of which style and image to choose – rasta dog? fluffy romantic puppy boy? A fashionable hipster with a man bun? A dodgy hound with a ponytail and a goatee? Too many choices and only one dog!

So there – I cannot count on making a career in this fascist environment. I’ll just have to stay at home and divide my time between sleeping, blogging and waiting to be taken out. It’s a tough life, but someone has to do it so other people can enjoy themselves working at the office!

Shaun

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