My Name Is….!

  People are often surprised when my parents tell them my name is Shaun.

      I guess they want to hear that it is Fluffball or Pawster or Mr Cuddly and all that nonsense. Well it isn’t OK? And I do enjoy disappointing people’s cliche expectations.

happy mondays dog
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        I was actually named after Shaun Ryder, the singer in my mum’s favourite band Happy Mondays.  Not a perfect role model for a young and easily corrupted puppy like myself, I can tell you!

I’ve done some reading and it turns out that Shaun Ryder did in his youth all those things that I am not allowed:

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1) He did lots of drugs while dogs are not even allowed a painkiller as it makes them violently sick!

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2) He stole expensive stuff like instruments and clothes, while I’m not even allowed a piece of dad’s chicken from his plate.

.3) He shouted and swore every other word while I get told off for one single bark in the postman’s direction

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4) He killed pigeons for fun  – I found a dead pigeon once and brought it to my mum and dad – you can not imagine the screaming and disgust I had to listen to – not to mention that I really had to run for it and at the end I didn’t get to keep it. 

I wonder if Shaun Ryder ever had to put up with that kind of nonsense…I bet noone called HIM a bad dog either!

I want to join a band someday too. Bitches dig musicians! I am already thinking of some catchy names. Here are my choices:  The LabraDOORS…….The Rolling Shauns……Pet Shaun Boys …Dog Eat Dog

Oh wait… Looks like Dog Eat Dog is already taken… How weird! I thought I was being so original with my ideas:/

 

I’m Gonna Be a Stud, Baby!

Yes!!! I just overheard my parents talking.

They are going to pimp me out !!!

They are going to post a sex ad at the end of March, when I’m 18 months old, and they are going to find me a nice fluffy bitch to love!

I need to try to get some sexy pics taken, like lying on the bed with a tempting pose or licking my lips in a sensual way. Here’s my first attempt. What do you think – Are bitches gonna line up or what?

sexy dog face

Anyway – My parents can advertise me separately, but I will advertise here as well in the hope of maybe even meeting my soul mate along the way. So here goes the first draft:

        A sexy and fit young stud labrador (currently living in West Yorkshire in England ) will meet lovely ladies who want to get pregnant in the fastest and yet most enjoyable way and have lots of beautiful light yellow puppies with great genes. Who knows, one of them might even become the president of United States one day (since it doesn’t take much these days)  KC registered with great scores and eyesight  and my parents have all the relevant documents. So come on girls, wait no more – let me be your baby daddy !

How does that sound? Not too subtle? Any comments welcome

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OMG I’m so happy!

Now I understand why they took me to the vets so many times. All the test proven to be great apparently – elbow score is 0 and hip score total is 7 and apparently it’s very good.

Whatever! Who cares about my hips and elbows – it’s the little Shaun that bitches are gonna appreciate the most! 🙂

Shaun